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Love Languages

By Valerie Padilla

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I will be covering the 5 love languages and their misconceptions! Oftentimes, people don't take the time to learn about the different love languages and how they can positively impact their relationships. Marriage and family therapist Sunny Motamedi, Psy.D., says that while most of these languages may be relatable for everyone, each of us has a particular one that resonates with us the most. Speaking your partner's primary love language on a regular basis can help you two better understand one another's needs and support one another's personal development. Therefore, understanding the five love languages (physical touch, acts of service, quality time, gifts, and words of affirmation) and how they apply to your relationship is important, and these love languages don't have to be romantic either! Platonic friendships could also benefit from recognizing and speaking the love languages of their friends.

This topic may seem cliche, but oftentimes individuals tend to speak in their love languages rather than the ones that their friend or partner would like to receive. A person who thrives on physical touch, for example, may be unaware that their partner, who prefers acts of service, would prefer to receive help around the house rather than a hug. It is this type of silent communication that allows us to connect on a deeper level with our platonic friends or romantic partners, if we take the time to recognize and understand the different ways in which we all express and feel love. However, the first step to becoming in tune with your love language is understanding how you prefer to receive and express love:

Do you prefer “Words of Affirmation?”

  • You enjoy being told "I love you" by your partner. You need to hear those three words because they are particularly significant, unique, and comforting. Over and over again.

  • When you are recognized and given praise, you appreciate it. No matter how small, it's nice to have your efforts acknowledged with positive feedback.

Or would you rather have “Quality time” with the people close to you?

  • You enjoy uninterrupted time with your special someone. You must have enough time to hang out and give each other your full undivided attention!

  • You feel as if creating special moments and memories with one another is important because sharing experiences with another person is something you hold close to your heart!

Do “Acts of Service” catch your attention much more?

  • You believe that words are cheap and actions are everything. You require someone to deliver and demonstrate their dependability. .

  • You adore it when your partner helps out in small ways to make your life easier!

What about “Gift giving?”

  • This does not make you materialistic but instead, you enjoy the thought behind the gift-giving! The gift then becomes something that allows you to remember that they were thinking of you.

  • Meaningful gifts can be considered the best ones! It could strengthen the bond in a relationship and create a deeper connection between you and your special someone.

Does “Physical Touch” sound more fitting?

  • When physical affection is accessible and frequently fostered, a relationship feels solid. Hand-holding, lengthy hugs, and other touches of affection are frequent and appreciated occurrences.

  • One advantage of being in a relationship with someone whose preferred method of communication is physical touch is the ability to show your affection without using words.

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